


Night Raven College Group Chat

by StaleRyeBread



Category: Disney - All Media Types, Twisted-Wonderland (Video Game)
Genre: Dorks, Gen, Group chat, i will write twisted wonderland content. as a treat, the gang's all here, yes i'm using the homestuck format
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:41:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23278756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StaleRyeBread/pseuds/StaleRyeBread
Summary: Kalim makes a group chat for the students
Comments: 58
Kudos: 369





	1. 1

(KALIM created a chat with JAMIL, RIDDLE, AZUL, LEONA, and IDIA)

JAMIL: Sir what are you doing?

(KALIM added JADE, FLOYD, VIL, and EPEL)

JAMIL: Kalim, are you making a group chat in the middle of class.

KALIM: New phone who’s this. 

JAMIL: You added ME to the group chat Kalim you know who I am! And you just looked over at me because we sit side by side, in the middle of the classroom. 

(KALIM added ORTHO, ROOK, ACE, DEUCE, TREY, CATER, JACK, RUGGIE, LILIA, SILVER, and SEBEK)

KALIM: I think that’s everyone.

JAMIL: Did you just add the majority of the school body to a group chat.

KALIM: Yeah it’s gonna be fun! We can plan parties and stuff here!

JAMIL: In all honesty sir, putting a bunch of random people we know nothing about in a chat doesn’t seem that wise. What if they don’t mean well.

KALIM: Ah, you’re just a big old worrywart Jamil! It’s fine!

AZUL: You never know, someone could pull a JFK on you.

KALIM: heeeeeeeey Azul! Also that doesn’t sound too bad!

JAMIL: JFK’s head was shot off. He was assassinated. 

KALIM: Sounds festive

JAMIL: It’s NOT.

AZUL: I mean, it was festive for the assassin. 

JAMIL: Shouldn’t you be working on a project in class?

AZUL: No, my support twunks are doing that for me. Plus, I could be asking you the same thing.

JAMIL: Support twunks…?

KALIM: The leech twins, Jamil, they’re his support twunks. 

JAMIL: How do you know that?

KALIM: Me and Azul sometimes have tea and talk about our supportive helpers and the latest fashion.

JAMIL: I see. 

AZUL: It’s very relaxing. I would invite you, but you’re not fun.

JAMIL: Wow.

KALIM: Azul be nice please we can’t start discourse this early in the chat, Riddle hasn’t even said anything.

AZUL: Ah, the king of discourse. We should change his name to that in the chat, Kalim.

KALIM: Great idea!!

(KALIM has changed RIDDLE to DISCOURSE KING)

KALIM: Done!

JAMIL: Sire that’s going to make him lose it.

(KALIM has changed JAMIL to #1 STICK IN THE MUD)

#1 STICK IN THE MUD: Sir.

(KALIM has changed #1 STICK IN THE MUD to JAMIL)

KALIM: Sorry! You know I think you’re wonderful, Jamil! <3

JAMIL: Thank you.

Azul: Gays in the chat. 

JAMIL: Wow ok.

RUGGIE: Gays in the chat, what will they do  


JAMIL: Go back to class Ruggie.

RUGGIE: You’re not my dad!

AZUL: You’re not his dad

LILIA: You’re not his dad

IDIA: You’re not his dad

JAMIL: Okay half these people weren’t online five seconds ago

IDIA: I just read messages, I don’t respond. 

LILIA: I heard human mockery and was brought here. 

AZUL: Cryptic. Hey Idia i’m taking Ortho out for board game night at the cafe.

KALIM: Sounds fun!

IDIA: You realize that he’s MY brother, not yours...right?

AZUL: nah nah nah.

AZUL: That’s our boy now. 

IDIA: our???

AZUL: Honorary member of the Octavinelle dorm. I love that little guy. 

IDIA: …

AZUL: I’m teaching him about tax fraud.

LILIA: An important lesson in this day and age

RUGGIE: Absolutely.

KALIM: Yeah!

JAMIL: Sire, you’re a millionaire with people who do what little taxes you actually have. You don’t need tax fraud.

KALIM: I know but still!

JAMIL: The professor is staring you down, Kalim.

KALIM: OOP

JAMIL: Hmm.

RUGGIE: I can’t believe it. They killed Kalim.

JAMIL: His phone was just taken away. I would never allow any harm to fall upon Kalim.

RUGGIE: Sometimes I can still hear his voice.

AZUL: Gay

LILIA: These were the exact responses I expected from that tbh

JAMIL: Get back to class you hooligans

LILIA: Yes sir


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riddle logs on

DISCOURSE KING: WHO CHANGED MY NAME TO DISCOURSE KING IN THIS GROUP CHAT. 

LILIA:ayyyyy it’s Riddle. 

DISCOURSE KING: Lilia how do i change it back

LILIA: i dunno

DISCOURSE KING: YES YOU DO!

LILIA: I’m not a moderator in this chat.

DISCOURSE KING: who is. Let me speak with them.This is a serious matter.

JAZZ HANDS: Hey. 

DISCOURSE KING: who is this?

LILIA: that’s Azul, duh. Jazz hands. He’s the jazz man. 

JAZZ HANDS: I’m disappointed in your lack of creativity. 

DISCOURSE KING: I’m disappointed in the naming conventions of this chat, change me to Riddle again.

JAZZ HANDS: Hmm. No. I don’t think I will. Sorry. 

DISCOURSE KING: I'll get you. It’ll look like an accident. I’ll cut off your head. 

LILIA: haha

JAZZ HANDS: with all due respect, Riddle, can you even reach my neck.

LILIA: OOOOOOH 

DISCOURSE KING: With how low you stoop, I don’t need to try and reach.

LILIA: THE GIRLS ARE FIIIIIGHTING. @EVERYONE GET IN HERE

LEONA: Place your bets 

FLOYD: Azul’s gonna win, duh

VIL: Riddle. His rage is confined to such a small place it builds up into a burning core of seething hatred. 

IDIA: can you all stop @s in the chat i’m trying to work.

FLOYD: No. @IDIA @IDIA @IDIA

IDIA: ….

JAZZ HANDS: thank you all for coming here today to witness Riddle’s demise. I will not be laying a hand on him, however, and will instead be giving out new nicknames to everyone but him as a sort of psychological warfare and inferiority implement strategy 

FLOYD: can I be Thing One

(JAZZ HANDS has changed FLOYD to THING ONE)

(JAZZ HANDS has changed JADE to THING TWO)

THING ONE: perfect you knew my next suggestion.

DISCOURSE KING: I’ll just ask Kalim to change it later, he’s the only good man in this school of assholes. 

JAZZ HANDS: very true. Anyways Leona is Furry now

(JAZZ HANDS has changed LEONA to FURRY)

FURRY: wow. 

(JAZZ HANDS has changed VIL to DROP DEAD GORGEOUS)

DROP DEAD GORGEOUS: Oh, i like this one. Thank you Azul.

JAZZ HANDS: no problem. 

DISCOURSE KING: How do i leave this chat

FURRY: you don’t, this is our punishment for being horrible human beings

LILIA: I don’t know about you all but I’m having the time of my life in here!

DROP DEAD GORGEOUS: Riddle is currently screaming in the halls and chucking his phone. 

LILIA: This isn’t fucking about him. 

(JAZZ HANDS has changed IDIA to EPIC GAMER)

EPIC GAMER: hmm. 

JAZZ HANDS: That’s everyone right now.

LILIA: Um. Bitch.

(JAZZ HANDS changed LILIA to YE OLDE THOT)

YE OLDE THOT: Thank you. now all is right in the world.


	3. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> let epel swear it's all he wants

EPEL: Guys is Vil online?

KALIM: No?

EPEL: Great.

EPEL: Oh my god, the audacity of that fucking bitch 

JAMIL: Language!

KALIM: Oh tea? Jamil let him vent he has to wear that stupid looking collar all day, he needs to breathe

EPEL: So I'm sitting in the dining hall, having to eat that disgusting food, and Vil has the nerve to look me up and down, and say that I wasn’t wearing my napkin around my neck properly.

KALIM: NO

EPEL: YEAH.

KALIM: Oh my god, the audacity of that hoe

JAMIL: Kalim!

KALIM: Jamil!

EPEL: Anyways i’m mad now. 

JAMIL: Have you tried telling him off.

EPEL: I don’t know Jamil, have you tried wrestling a lion made of razors. Because it’s probably as difficult as that. 

JAZZ HANDS: I can get rid of your problem for you for the low low price of your life saving and soul.

JAMIL: Absolutely not. 

JAZZ HANDS: You’re no fun.

JAMIL: Fuck you.

KALIM: Language

EPEL: Language

JAZZ HANDS: Language.

EPIC GAMER: Language. 

JAMIL: Idia you weren’t even online!

EPIC GAMER: I lurk.

JAZZ HANDS: He’s constantly lurking.

EPIC GAMER: It’s what I do.

JAZZ HANDS: It’s true.

EPEL: How do you all get fun names by the way.

JAZZ HANDS: I can change them.

EPEL: Can you change mine.

(JAZZ HANDS has changed EPEL to LET HIM SAY FUCK)

LET HIM SAY FUCK: Thank you

JAMIL: The levels of unprofessional in this chat are ridiculous. 

(JAZZ HANDS has changed JAMIL to BOTTOM)

BOTTOM: WOW OK.

JAZZ HANDS: wait

(JAZZ HANDS has changed BOTTOM to I’M HIS)

I’M HIS: What.

(JAZZ HANDS has changed KALIM to HE’S MINE)

I’M HIS: For fucks sake

HE’S MINE: Oh my gosh that’s cute!

JAZZ HANDS: Nice

DROP DEAD GORGEOUS: Heard you were talking shit Epel.

LET HIM SAY FUCK: oh god oh f

LET HIM SAY FUCK: Please don’t kill me my wife will miss me. 

DROP DEAD GORGEOUS: Who’s your wife???

LET HIM SAY FUCK: Uh

LET HIM SAY FUCK: Jack

DROP DEAD GORGEOUS: Jack is a grown ass sixteen year old on steroids

LET HIM SAY FUCK: Yeah but at least he doesn’t coat his face in five layers of concealer to hide his pimples, Vil.

LET HIM SAY FUCK: wai

JAZZ HANDS: …

I’M HIS: ….

HE’S MINE: ….

EPIC GAMER: …..

HE’S MINE: oh my fucking god he’s fucking dead.


	4. 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Idia exists

JAZZ HANDS: @EPIC GAMER You got the stuff

EPIC GAMER: Yeah I got it. 

JAZZ HANDS: Great thanks.

JACK: Hey i’m sorry what the fuck?

JAZZ HANDS: Apology accepted.

JACK: Did you just make a shady transaction in the public group chat?

JAZZ HANDS: Yes. It has no need to be secret, honestly, due to the fact it’s not technically illegal, and this is the only group chat Idia checks frequently and takes screenshots of. 

RUGGIE: He what. 

EPIC GAMER: Don’t worry about it. 

RUGGIE: How much info do you actually have from here???

EPIC GAMER: Oh you know.

RUGGIE: I don’t????????

JAZZ HANDS: Idia was just giving me everyone’s social media accounts. 

RUGGIE: Oh that’s not so bad actually. 

JAZZ HANDS: You’ll see.

RUGGIE: That’s a bad vibe!

EPIC GAMER: It’s just business. Plus, if you all wanted to hide your various public and private accounts so well, you really should have picked a more discreet username, and checked the strength of your passwords because frankly some of you had such predictable codes. And if I link one of my own personal emails to your account I can change the actual login so there’s no way of you getting back in. 

JAZZ HANDS: yeah yeah Idia don’t ramble your plans.

(JAZZ HANDS has changed EPIC GAMER to EPIC GAYMER) 

EPIC GAYMER: Hmm.

JACK: That’s the most I have ever seen Idia say, ever.

JAZZ HANDS: He’s amazingly articulate when he’s not talking in person. 

EPIC GAYMER: Stop. 

JAZZ HANDS: It’s true though.

EPIC GAYMER: I just don’t like speaking face to face with people. It seems pointless if you can just discuss the same things over a screen.

JAZZ HANDS: But you talk to me face to face.

EPIC GAYMER: You’re the only person I know in the board game club, there’s no way around it. 

RUGGIE: I keep forgetting both of you are in a board game club that’s hilarious to me for some reason 

RUGGIE: Do you guys play monopoly 

EPIC GAYMER: Not after The Incident

JAZZ HANDS: We swore never to speak of The Incident, Shroud, silence. 

RUGGIE: Woah woah WOAH WOAH THAT GOT INTENSE 

JACK: What happened?

JAZZ HANDS: We swore to never play monopoly again! We just can’t! The Incident was too much!

RUGGIE: You’re capitalizing The Incident so it must be important 

JACK: What happened please we need to know.

EPIC GAYMER: Forbidden. 

EPIC GAMER: Forbidden knowledge man was not meant to know.

RUGGIE: If you don’t tell me, He will

JAZZ HANDS: Who the hell is he.

RUGGIE: @ORTHO why can’t they play monopoly anymore 

EPIC GAYMER: NO

JAZZ HANDS: ORTHO DON’T.

ORTHO: :)

EPIC GAMER: Ortho don’t.

ORTHO: Azul cried when he lost and Idia set a curtain on fire because he's scared of human emotion. 

RUGGIE: OH MY GOD WHAT

JACK: WOAH

EPIC GAYMER: ORTHO.

(JAZZ HANDS has changed ORTHO to BETRAYAL)

BETRAYAL: They asked! And it’s okay, you didn’t mean it! 

EPIC GAYMER: Banned. Banned from the chat.

(EPIC GAYMER has banned BETRAYAL for 24 HOURS)

RUGGIE: He did what he had to do

(EPIC GAYMER has banned RUGGIE for 24 HOURS)

(EPIC GAYMER has banned JACK for 24 HOURS)

JAZZ HANDS: You know this means we will have to force their silence, as well as delete this conversation.

EPIC GAYMER: Already on it.

JAZZ HANDS: Thank you. 

LET HIM SAY FUCK: What the hell happened.


	5. 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leona has a problem

FURRY: We as a group need to talk about how we can kill Rook

RUGGIE: Oh hey Leona

HE’S MINE: Wait what did he do???

FURRY: He keeps following me around Kalim it’s ridiculous

FURRY: He has too much time on his hands and we need to take him out

RUGGIE: Like on a date? Because i’m pretty sure that’s what he wants, man

YE OLDE THOT: My man Rook said “i’m not catching a case with these sixteen year olds, I’m going after the twenty year old furry”. What a power move

FURRY: Shut up I need a way to get rid of him. Any ideas 

HE’S MINE: Just ask him to stop?

FURRY: Okay, let me rephrase that: any good ideas

HE’S MINE: Ouch

RUGGIE: Ouch

YE OLDE THOT: Ouch

EPIC GAYMER: Ouch

FURRY: WHEN THE FUCK DID IDIA GET HERE 

EPIC GAYMER: that’s not important

FURRY: I’m thinking of just like, drowning Rook. Does that sound good?

RUGGIE: He’ll just drink all the water in the lake, smh

FURRY: HEY RUGGIE WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN.

FURRY: RUGGIE.

RUGGIE: oh you know.

YE OLDE THOT: Have you tried locking him in a random room?

FURRY: He can pick locks

LET HIM SAY FUCK: Yeah he can totally do that

FURRY: EPEL THANK GOD. 

FURRY: HOW DO I STOP ROOK

LET HIM SAY FUCK: you can’t

LET HIM SAY FUCK: No living soul can

EPIC GAYMER: Ha

FURRY: NO THERE HAS TO BE A WAY I REFUSE TO BE INTERRUPTED WHILE NAPPING ANY MORE.

FURRY: Epel you have to help me 

LET HIM SAY FUCK: I can’t read, sorry

FURRY: You’re obviously lying!

LET HIM SAY FUCK: Gee, I wish I knew what that said. If only I could read.

FURRY: Fuck you.

YE OLDE THOT: Can’t wait for Rook to read this shit

ROOK: I am

YE OLDE THOT: OOOOOOOOH MY GOD

FURRY:NO. GOD NO

LET HIM SAY FUCK: Hey Rook

EPIC GAYMER: Lol

ROOK: Personally, i’m a little hurt by these accusations. How dreadful.

FURRY: Fuck you, you’re a dead man

ROOK: Don’t look out your window

FURRY: WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK

RUGGIE: Why do I hear screaming.


End file.
